Anatomy of a Sommpetition

Welcome to this running diary of the 5th Best Young Sommelier Competition held on November 22, 2019 at Kyperounda Winery, way up in the heart of the Troodos mountain range!

9:30 am: I park across the street from Kyperounda Winery, the best halloumopitta on The Rock warming my lap and innards following a brief stop in Astromeritis' Ste-Ma Bakery, as they set up the winery's reception area for the sommpetition.

There are three separate tables of judges consisting of the crème de la crème of The Rock's wine and food world. There is Andreas Kyprianou of Vinocultura, Paola Papacosta of Cypriot & Proud, CySomm's trio of Georges (Kassianos, Loukakis & Zacharoglou), Vassos Manoli of Pralina Experience, Stalo Arambantzi of Four Seasons, Charis Stylianides of O'Vrakas Taverna, Minas Mina of Kyperounda Winery, Teddy Kandylis of 67 Pall Mall in London and countless others. Serving as Master of Ceremonies, Sotiris Neophytides, now Head Sommelier at Amara in Limassol. Just as in the case of the annual Cyprus Wine Competition, if the soirée had been somewhat less sophisticated and legitimate, I might have been invited as a judge to muddle things up.

We're informed that 3 of the 9 sommeliers move on to the final where they will go through a blind tasting of wines and spirits and a serving component while being bombarded with questions by the judging panel who pretend to be not-so-petulant customers at a high-end restaurant.

10:00 am: To avoid any biases, all judgments are done blindly. Hence, each participant is donned with a unique number and the judges do not know what number is assigned to whom. If only justice out in the real world were this straightforward and transparent.

MC Neo starts rifling out numbers like a race caller at the Kentucky Derby. 306! 482! 920! I'm waiting for an excited octogenarian with bad hips, a flowered ankle-length dress and patchouli-scented perfume to yell out "Bingo!" and jump on stage to claim her prize. What does she win? A  camouflage crock pot, of course.

The deserving finalists!

Jessica-Stella Thoma of Parklane Resort and Spa in Limassol, Adrian Andronache of Rous Restaurant in Nicosia, and Konstantinos Grigoriou of Fereos Fourpoint Distribution are the designated finalists.

10:40 am: More numbers are barked out; this time to determine the order of the proceedings. To my disappointment, no one yells out "Bingo!" Adrian goes first, followed by Konstantinos and then Jessica. Game on, somms.

“I'm excited. It's the first time I manage to reach the final. I'm glad to be here, everything is a plus from this moment on,” Adrian tells MC Neo.

Each table before the somm poses a set of specific challenges. Table 1 orders two glasses of Commandaria (one on the rocks) and an ice cold Cypriot beer. Table 2 is looking to pair a set menu designed by the executive chef of Pralina Experience in Nicosia with individual wines. Table 3 requests a bottle of red wine, which the somm has to properly decant and serve, and a chilled shot of Cypriot firewater. Each table has to be cleared in six, seven (with one minute to look over the menu) and seven minutes, respectively. About the time it takes me to write half a sentence for this post while Little Miss Muse chooses to go out boozing with her girlfriends and leaves me stranded on the deserted island of ineptitude.

Adrian's somm style is obvious from the get-go. He is super chatty, delivering plenty of information to his clients and offering up suggestions, many times at a supersonic (give me gin n' tonic) speed. When Stalo asks for an ice cube in her Commandaria, Adrian brings up dilution, talks about the Cypriot landmark wine being better as a digestif and suggests instead serving her a sparkler, G&T or other cocktail. Besides being accommodating, Rous' somm is also very thorough in providing extra information on the drinks requested, from the aging process for Kyperounda Winery's Commandaria to the history behind Leon, The Rock's first beer.

The menu for Table 2 (as we later find out) consists of actual dishes served at an event hosted by the Cypriot President for foreign dignitaries.

For the sake of simplicity and as a tribute to my past life as a number cruncher for an energy consulting firm, I'm going to break out a table to summarize this portion of the event.

Some observations from Press Row, the best seat in the house:

• A relative dearth of red wines are selected, which is understandable considering the menu. My one question mark would be Konstantinos' choice of Yiannoudi to match the grouper.
• Kyperounda Winery's Chardonnays, which I love, got mentioned more than Donald Trump tweets. Maybe the somms thought said choice would endear them to the judges and the event's official sponsors?
• I appreciate the sommeliers' efforts to (almost exclusively) list Cypriot wines for each dish.
• Commandaria is king, queen, prince and princess of this wine court.

Now back to your regular programming.

Table 3 involves serving a red wine and zivania. A quick play-by-play analysis of Adrian's "performance" offers beginners like myself a good introduction to the world of wine service.

Adrian Andronache

Adrian sets up a wine basket with a napkin and towel and checks each single glass to make sure they are not smudged with magenta lipstick or suspicious fingerprints or streaks of lamb grease before setting them on a tray and distributing them among the judges. He lights a candle. Gently, with nary a sound, he uncorks the bottle of Kyperounda's Andessitis he's picked for the guests. He asks who would like to taste the wine and makes sure the cork is in good condition. He pours himself a glass, swirls it in the decanter and returns it to his glass. Takes a whiff and tastes the wine to make sure it does not smell/taste like wet cardboard or rotten eggs or [insert wine fault of your choice]. Then he decants the bottle over the candle to make sure there's no sediment being transferred into the receptacle. Serves a glass for the table's designated taster. Adrian wraps up by offering a pairing for the wine of choice, asks to remove the cork and pops out a fancy gold gadget—it looks like a mini bell or a thimble attached to a rod—to tactfully burn out the candle. Personally, I would have gone the licked fingers or birthday cake blowout route. Andreas Kyprianou probably trained him well.

11:00 am: Now we enter what's probably the toughest part of any wine competition or certification—the blind tasting (or random guessing game if you have the level of training of an Ecuadorian wine blogger).

There are six black glasses with spirits that must be identified correctly, and one glass of wine that must be described in great detail (think a three-minute run-on sentence on your favorite beverage). Of course, the candidate must also venture a guess based on their sensorial talents.

Again, to cut through my wordiness, here's a table summarizing the candidates' tasting notes and guesstimates.

More observations from Press Row, the best seat in the house:

• From where I sit, the three seem to do a decent job describing the wine, despite their guesses being all over the place. They move from point to point quite quickly and offer enough detail for the audience to get an idea of what they were experiencing.
• Considering that the event is sponsored by Kyperounda Winery and Photos Photiades Ltd., I wonder whether the candidates studied the company's wine portfolio ahead of time. As a participant, I might have assumed that the wine before me was one provided to the competition by the sponsors.
• The wine is the 2018  Roxani Matsa Estate Malagouzia from Attica in Greece. Yes, imported to The Rock by Photos Photiades Ltd. [Editor's Note: Insert your favorite smart-ass GIF].

Finally, the six black glasses are a combination of Commandaria (fortified and non-fortified), Zivania (oaked and unoaked) and citrus liqueurs, a selection that didn't pose too many challenges to the participants.

11:20 am: – Konstantinos is up next.

“As expected. Stressed,” he tells MC Neo.

Konstantinos Grigoriou

As soon as he gets started with Table 1, it becomes quite apparent that Konstantinos' style is the polar opposite of Adrian's. There is hardly an introduction and very little talking and information shared. He jumps straight into the serving, pouring the couple glasses of Commandaria, setting a glass with ice next to them, and offering up a Carlsberg, which, if we're being honest, wouldn't fly had I ordered a Cypriot beer. There's little flare to his presentation; Konstantinos works his way through the challenge, seemingly more focused on getting the job done in a fast, efficient and satisfactory manner rather than charming his customers or offering them interesting insights into their selections.

Once he hits Table 3, his nerves are rather visible. The wine glasses rattle on the tray as he places them on the table. Konstantinos says the wine he has picked does not necessarily need decanting but he will do as the client wishes. He cracks a joke about the candle also offering ambiance and uses his fingers (unless I imagined it) to burn it out once it's done romancing the room. Then, he runs out of time while suggesting a beef filet to pair with the wine.

12:05 pm: Last but not least, it's time for Jessica's shot at the title.

“Where’s the exit?” she quips.

Jessica-Stella Thoma

She follows in the same style established by Konstantinos. There's no small talk or introduction or second-guessing the judges. Jessica asks the judges if they want to try the Commandaria and what beer they'd prefer—Carlsberg or Leon. [Editor's Note: Leon. Duh.] Like Konstantinos, she seems nervous and doubts some of her moves.

This pattern continues onto Table 3 where again there is hardly any chitchat or questions to the judges. She stumbles while trying to light the candle, asks a judge whether she should try the wine for him, presents the table the cork and wraps up her waltz by suggesting braised veal cheeks as the perfect accompaniment to the red wine she has decanted.

She recovers following a shaky start and bumps Konstantinos off second place in my final podium predictions.

12:40 pm: Oh! A surprise! We love surprises!

The candidates are asked to identify the grapes behind some of the world's most famous labels, a few more obscure than others but an entertaining exercise nevertheless. Each bottle is flashed on a screen for 10 seconds and the somms have to write out the grape on their flip chart.

Of course, I decide to play along and make a fool of myself. From 1 to 10, here are my guesses: Merlot & Cabernet Franc, Shiraz (GSM), Sangiovese, can’t see (squinting), Shiraz, my eyes fail me again, Nebbiolo, Riesling, Sauvignon Blanc (?) (stop blaming your poor eyesight) and Malbec.

Did I get any right? I doubt it. Now back to my cave.

 

Wine Scribble was there too & here's plenty of footage better than my writing.

12:50 pm: What's a sommpetition without wine for the attendees? We are handed glasses of Kyperounda Winery's 2018 Akti Rosé, its Provence-style, coral-toned blush rendering the overcast and cold morning forgotten.

13:15 pm: It's finally time. The scores have been tallied and the results are in.

Press Row, the best seat in the house.

Pralina Experience's Vassos Manoli thanks Kyperounda Winery and Photos Photiades Ltd., for hosting the event and reminds us we have a date come November 2020 for the Association de la Sommellerie Internationale's (ASI) Contest for the Best Sommelier of Europe & Africa that will be hosted in Limassol. [Editor's Note: This was pre-COVID-19 so things are now up in the air. Bonus question: If Coronavirus were a grape variety, what would it be? We vote for Zinfandel. Wait, should I duck or are we all in agreement?]

Drum roll please.

In third place, Konstantinos Grigoriou. Second place to Jessica-Stella Thoma. And this year's grand winner is Adrian Andronache. As I had *cough, cough* predicted.

A few final observations from Press Row, the best seat in the house:

I believe a huge part of a sommelier's job involves charisma. Personalities, however, vary to large degrees. Some are more personable and engaging while others are more reserved and strictly focus on efficiently serving customers without any unnecessary interruptions or fanfare. Both of these personalities were on display during this competition, and I guess a customer's preference ultimately depends on his or her own personality and needs. Of course, proper etiquette, wine connoisseurship and respecting your cash-carrying customers are non-negotiable.

In any case, all three candidates, despite the understandable nerves amassed by performing as young professionals on a big stage before peers and fanboys like myself, did admirably well and have bright futures in the hospitality sector on The Rock.

Congratulations to all three and until next year!

Hips Don't Lie

I love my labels. 

I don't mean those multisyllabic Italian names that dress wafer-thin models in clunky, mismatched fabrics, ghoulish make-up and heels that could be used to maim a disgruntled lover. Me trying designer clothing is akin to forcing a Fiat 500's chassis onto a naked Hummer; hips don't lie, people. Plus, those labels are for the cool kids, and cool kids don't cry watching Massimo Bottura talk about his wife and Parmesan cheese.

I love my wine labels. Whether we like it or not, plenty of consumers out there partially base their wine purchases on the label; it catches a corner of their eye with its modern design, its comedic undertones, its bravado, its refinement, you name it. I've been guilty of this plenty of times, specially when my phone's roaming and I'm looking at a region of the world that's as obscure to me as deep-fried pork belly is to a supermodel.

Since moving to Cyprus ten-plus years ago, the evolution of the Cypriot wine label has been interesting to follow. It's only during the past three-to-five years that some of the wineries on The Rock have embraced labels that have become something to write home about. Still, many remain stuck in the past with old fashioned, unimaginative and dull labels that fail to capture the consumer's imagination.

Rocky Ledge Above Vouni Panayia Winery

For me, it all starts with Vouni Panayia, whose labels experienced a massive transformation, and are the coolest on the island. After spending a sunset with the Kyriakides family on a steep rocky ledge one-thousand-plus meters above sea level—sharing stories and laughs, sampling their Promara and Spourtiko, taking in the myriad of colours scattering into black—these labels make perfect sense: a mouflon, Cyprus' national animal, leaning over a large V that mimics said cliff.

Tsiakkas winery has also done a good job, adopting a series of drawn Cypriot motifs to embellish their bottles, and Zambartas, from the get-go, designed a sophisticated label that stands out for its finesse. However, as has come up in discussions with the team behind Evoinos, another Cypriot wine blog, it's not enough to just modernise one's labels without having a coherent, interesting and informative story behind the effort. Maybe this is a marketing or branding issue that has failed to take hold of the Cypriot wine industry, but it is one where there's tons of potential.

The Unveiling

The latest to adopt a new image was Kyperounda Winery, and I was honoured to have been invited to the launch for the rebranding of its entry level wines—Petritis, Andessitis and Rosé—which was held at Nicosia's Municipal Gardens.

The sophisticated affair perfectly complemented Kyperounda Winery's new labels, which consist of a series of pine cones coloured in gold, blue and fuchsia, one for each bottle. The design's lines are simple yet classy and are in touch with the winery's history and its geographic location in the Pitsilia region of the Troodos mountains.

According to the winery, "The new labels in the main series of wines by Kyperounta Winery exude refinement, highlighting the dynamic character and quality of the wines. The symbol is the pine cone, characteristic of the Pitsilia area. It is worth noting that Pitsilia took its name from the ancient 'Pitis,' which means pine."

Kyperounda's New Label Art

From my brief conversation with the Kyperounda Winery crew hosting the event, the winery is also looking into revamping the labels for their mid-range wines, which include the Cabernet Sauvignon, Shiraz and always enjoyable Chardonnay. It will be interesting to see whether they will stick to the pine cone theme or come up with something altogether new.

In any case, it's about time Cypriot wine labels do justice to the vastly improved libation that's now found in the bottle and adds kilos around our waists. 

By the way, if any local winery is up for it, we can organise a label design competition and see what comes of it. Plenty of talented artists on The Rock and I'm sure plenty of them would be thrilled to design something for a case of your finest Maratheftiko, bragging rights and a shoutout/nickname on my third-rate wine blog.

Who's got next?

Lyhnos is for Lovers

You know how much I love agrotourism. All those old (sometimes renovated, sometimes ageing) cottages up in the mountains provide me with a great respite from my discombobulated life in The Rock's capital, The Big Fig. Seemingly, the silence, the emptiness, the fresh air, the close proximity to the island's wineries are rejuvenating.

Weekend Escape Anyone? Part I

A few weeks ago, I had the opportunity to visit a new bed and breakfast in Askas, a minute and unbeknownst-to-me village entrenched in the steep hills between Palaichori and Alona. Run by My Zolpidem Supplier's good friend, Elena Christou, "Lyhnos" consists of a few small houses belonging to her family that have been transformed into four spacious and sophisticated bedrooms and a contemporary tavern serving traditional Cypriot food with a twist. Each bedroom has its own stylish decor as Elena handpicked unique furniture and decorative items to lend each its own distinct and cozy personality. The "Suite," for instance, is decadent with its plush lime green seating area,  fireplace, flat-screen television, canopied bed frame and modern bathroom with a privacy glass wall that offers its guests a bird's eye view of the village centre while lathering (each other) up. Taking a cue from my favourite state in the Union, Lyhnos is definitely for lovers. Still, many of the sofas convert into beds if you want to spend extra quality time with your nagging children.

The Tavern

The main reason for our visit was to test drive the tavern. Despite this cracker of a blog, my web of contacts does not stretch very far so I'm never invited to soft openings. Given the opportunity, though, we took to our duties like beavers damming the Amazon. Aesthetically speaking, the space combines the clean, light lines of the parquet floors and contemporary furniture with the heavy stone walls and wooden beams that surround it. The two long dining rooms are rather sparse and might benefit from some pops of color on the walls, both to provide added contrast and a bit of sound proofing. A patio lined with potted flowers is available towards the back of the second room for al fresco dining during the summer.

Weekend Escape Anyone? Part II

For the most part, the food consists of meze, but a few a la carte options will be available for overnight guests. Elena explained that the menu will change frequently and focus on seasonal produce and recipes from the Pitsilia region in Cyprus. On our visit, some of the meze's highlights were the cheese and smoked pork tenderloin (lountza) dip; a revelatory halloumi grilled and then cooked with chopped tomatoes, sliced onions and fresh mint; courgette and feta fritters; wine-soaked sausages; grilled pork cutlets; lamb baked in parchment paper, and; an anari and phyllo pastry parfait with a rich Commandaria syrup. A couple of other dishes were not as successful, and we all let Elena know for future reference so I'm certain we'll see improvements on our next visit. Overall, considering Lyhnos was trying things out, the service was of a good standard and the food was tasty and plentiful.

The Cava

Elena is a budding oenologist—she's dying to make wines with Giannoudi, a local and rare red grape variety—and designed the eatery's wine cellar. With its wall-to-wall oak-toned racks, dim lighting and a small table for private tastings, the cava sits to the side of the first dining room and provides guests with a nook where to sample The Rock's finest. Lyhnos's Cyprus-only wine offering is strong. Elena selected a range of bottles from the usual suspects (Zambartas, Aes Ambelis, Makkas, Vlassides, Tsiakkas, Argyrides, Kyperounda and Vouni Panagia) that cover most grape varieties available on The Rock (Xynisteri, Chardonnay, Sauvignon Blanc, Shiraz, Cabernet Sauvignon, Mourverdre, Maratheftiko, Merlot, Lefkada, Promara, Spourtiko, etc.) On our visit, we sampled the 2011 Makkas Maratheftiko, a smooth, easy-to-drink red that burst with red fruit and some lingering spice. I was also happy to see the Aes Ambelis Commandaria as the go-to sticky along with Agia Mavri's always enjoyable Mosxatos.

Weekend Escape Anyone? Part III

From our short visit, I believe only a handful of local agrotourism options combine sophistication, comfort, privacy, romance and decent pricing in the way Lyhnos does. A night at Lyhnos (double occupancy and breakfast included) will only set you back 80 to 125 Euros depending on the room/suite selected, while a meal at the tavern runs between 20 and 25 Euros per person, again depending on the wine selected. If you pick Kyperounda's EPOS or the Zambartas Shiraz Lefkada, expect your bill to run closer to 35 Euros. For more information, check out their Facebook page, email them at info@lyhnos.com or call (+357) 99-210688. Lovers, rejoice.

Whine On The Rocks' Rating: 4.5 out of 5 Sparkling Spatulas

A Case of Questions with Rob Shipman, Former Executive Chef at Almyra and Annabelle Hotels, Paphos

I'm always late to the party. For many months, I had been telling The Wife, Ph.D., to go check out Chef Rob Shipman's omakase menu at Almyra Hotel in Paphos. Life, however, kept getting in the way. So a few weeks ago I wrote Rob to see whether he'd be interested in partaking in the blog's "Case of Questions" only to find out that he'd moved to Morocco to head a new Asian-Mediterranean restaurant called Kasai. Rob has a brilliant trajectory in the world of Asian cuisine; he's worked for Hilton International in Japan, headed the kitchen at London's acclaimed Michelin-starred Nobu, and cooked for celebrities like Bobby De Niro, Leo DiCaprio, Naomi Campbell, Gordon Ramsey and Jamie Oliver. Cyprus was lucky to have him around and I hope I get to catch him in action on his next sojourn to the island.

Why wine?

CRS: Firstly, why not wine? And, secondly, the world would not be the same without it!

First wine that really captured your attention? How old were you?

CRS: It was a vintage Montrachet [that I sampled] when I was working at Nobu. Three thousand pounds a bottle. I was thirty-five years old, I think.

All-time favourite bottle of wine?

CRS: Penfolds Bin 28.

Favourite wine-producing region? Why?

CRS: Burgundy. World-class red and white wines and they rock!

Your favourite food-and-wine pairing?

CRS: Montrachet and white truffle.

What is Cyprus missing when it comes to wine?

CRS: It's missing pedigree. But now there are many winemakers who really care. I think Cyprus is experiencing a wine renaissance.

What do you foresee for Cyprus’s wine industry?

CRS: I think we will see more fine wines. However, I think it will be difficult to compete with the international market due to the quantities produced and other economic reasons.

What do you enjoy most about your work in the food & wine world?

CRS: Passion!

What is your “Five Year Plan” for your business?

CRS: Growth!

Who is your favourite wine personality? Why?

CRS: George Kassianos, Chief Sommelier at Thanos Hotels, Paphos.

Any embarrassing episodes involving spilled wine, corkscrews, sommeliers or drunken behaviour?

CRS: I drank fifteen bottles of wine with a guest that had my omakase menu. We left the restaurant at 4:30 am. I woke up floating in the swimming pool!

Of course, your all-time favourite island  wine?

CRS: Kyperounda Petritis.

You can find Chef Rob, who goes by The Food Guy, on Facebook and on Twitter. He works his culinary magic at Kasai in Casablanca, Morocco.

Well, Not All of Us Age Like Clooney

A week ago, My Zolpidem Supplier, The Wife, Ph.D., and I met at Vinocultura for Whine On The Rocks' second ever vertical tasting. Our first was a roughshod affair on a balcony in Limassol involving various excellent vintages of Domaine Vlassides Cabernet Sauvignon. This one, instead, exuded class—multiple sparkling glasses, an oenologist as guide, spittoons, a crowd of thirty-plus oenophiles, and wines for sale. What's rather interesting was the wine selected for the vertical, Kyperounda Winery's Petritis, made of the indigenous grape Xynisteri, which (for all intent and purposes) is meant to be consumed within a year or two of release. Unlike other Xynisteris, though, Petritis "spends 6 months in stainless steel, 3 months in oak barrels and 6 months on the lees," a process that certainly extends its lifetime as evinced from the vertical. Besides this specific choice in wine-making, Kyperounda also boasts of south-facing, high-altitude (roughly 1,400 meters above sea level!) vineyards in an area with one of the lowest relative humidity levels on the island.

Kyperounda oenologist, Minas Mina, who was onsite to lead us through the tasting and answer our questions, also commented briefly on Maratheftiko, the big-berried, thin-skinned, pain-in-the-ass-to-grow variety that most experts claim is the most promising grape on The Rock. He ascertained that its production is extremely difficult, and that this year, for example, for the one hectare of Maratheftiko planted by the winery, the yield was a rather meager 200 kilograms.

Anyhow, without further ado, our noggins, palates and imagination at work:

Kyperounda Petritis 2012 — Bottled three weeks or so ago so it might need some time to develop. Waxy, white pepper, rather closed nose. Palate defined by citrus, apricots, some floral components and a touch of honey. Ranked 5 out of 8.

Kyperounda Petritis 2011 — Pleasant sweet nose with touches of honey and caramel. Great acidity on the palate with a grapefruit, citrus finish. Ranked 3 out of 8.

Kyperounda Petritis 2010 — Here the wine starts to yellow a bit. Smoky, dusty nose with a hint of flowers. Much fuller to the mouth but with diluted taste and little finish. Ranked 6 out of 8.

Kyperounda Petritis 2009 — This vintage won a Grand Gold Medal at the 5th Cyprus Wine Competition. Lovely bread-y nose with nuances of stone fruits and quince. Again, much fuller, very smooth with stone fruit rounding out the palate. Ranked 2 out of 8.

Kyperounda Petritis 2008 — Undisputed best in show. Great acidity, smooth, citrus finish with hints of honey. Feels awfully fresh for a five-year old Xynisteri. Minas told us that the 2011, 2008 and 2005 vintages were very similar given those years' cool summers. Here's hoping the 2011 develops as nicely as this one. Ranked 1 out of 8.

Kyperounda Petritis 2007 — Sweetcorn (high levels of dymethil sulfide?) and vegetal nose. Practically flat with little body or flavor profile. Granted, it might have been unfair to follow the stellar 2008 with this clunker. Ranked 8 out of 8.

Kyperounda Petritis 2005 — Again, a touch of sweetcorn matched with some smokiness, leather and cedar. Good acidity for an 8-year old. Long finish, smooth and remarkably sweet. Not quite sure whether it is peaking or already on its downhill. Still, ranked 4 out of 8.

Kyperounda Petritis 2003 — Better than 2007 but also felt flat. A smidgeon oxidized. Ranked 7 out of 8.

Summarizing, here are the final rankings, best to not best — 2008, 2009, 2011, 2005, 2010, 2012, 2003, 2007

Three for Monday #1

I've decided to launch a weekly post ("Three for Monday") that will highlight island wine-related articles that caught my eye during the past week. If you have any interesting pieces to include, please add them to the comments section. Happy reading, happier drinking.

* The article Cyprus wine has been raving about. Jancis Robinson, one of the world's preeminent wine connoisseurs, tasted the 2011 Kyperounda Petritis and loved it.

 * Design and branding are important. Elloinos, one of Greek wine's biggest fans and promoters, highlights Cypriot The Anama Concept's sophisticated collector's bottles. Also, Vouni Panayia Winery's labels got a wonderful makeover courtesy of designer Marios Karystios, and The Dieline, a company dedicated to the packaging design industry, tells us what they love about them.

* If you read the blog and my crazy tweets, you know I have a soft spot for Pinot Noir. Will Lyons, wine columnist for The Wall Street Journal, writes about his favorite New Zealand Pinot Noirs. Make sure to check out the slideshow at the bottom of the article! (Last time I checked, Bottles in Limassol stocks Felton Road.)

Introducing Hacienda "El Establo"

The Road to Nowhere

It took us close to two hours from Nicosia to reach the narrow road into Kato Arodhes. We sat in the car by the side of the road, waiting for R.O.I., his wife and The Duke of Ducati to drive by and lead us to our sleeping quarters for the evening. A two-story eyesore of a house entertained us for what felt like a half an hour wait with its owner's impeccable architectural gusto; terracotta-toned statues of frogs, saddled ponies, menacing eagles, giant mushrooms and roaring lions surrounded a tacky fountain and stood guard by the entrance of what must be a Russian magnate's idea of the American dream. After wiggling our way through several tight bends, rows of beautifully renovated stone houses stood on both sides, we reached the southern edge of town, a road that seemingly led to nowhere and a wooden gate that creaked as it swung open and invited us in. 

Hacienda "El Establo"

The small yet idyllic two-bedroom stone house, which was a stable in its previous incarnation and was refurbished by The Duke's family, is the archetypical Cypriot mountain retreat. Rusticity, hominess and the unencumbered sound of nature come together to provide the perfect escape from boisterous beaches, traffic-tortured cities and snotty crowds. A beautiful shaded outdoor patio and an orchard full of citrus and plum trees that shake and rustle like XXL maracas as the refreshing breeze works its way up the hills from the island's western shore serve as center stage for drinking, dining and disassociating from everyday life. Just around the corner, quasi-identical stone houses, all like first cousins in a sleepy village, line the meandering streets and give the place that same touch of symmetry found in a meticulous architect's sketchbook. And not too far, the wild and uncrowded beaches of Latsi and Polis Chrysochous, century-old monasteries and churches, boutique wineries and roads slithering like serpents down the mountains. In fact, your chances of crossing paths with ravenous snakes, rats, lizards and other polychromatic critters are much improved at these lofty elevations, but this should not detract from what I consider to be the superior and most relaxing weekend getaway on The Rock. What's that? Protaras? Sorry, I can't hear you, my piece of shit phone ran out of batteries.

Foukou in Action

Agritourism, the sort of tourism that hosts visitors in farms, ranches and rural cottages, has taken off since I moved to The Rock six very long years ago. In an effort to introduce tourists to life in traditional Cypriot villages, the Cyprus Tourism Organization (CTO) initiated "a programme of restoration of traditional houses and enhancement of the traditional element in Cyprus villages." Under this initiative managed by the Cyprus Agrotourism Company and subsidized by the Cypriot government, dozens of tattered rural abodes have been restored to their past charm and put up for rent for the benefit of guests willing to discover the island's countryside. Accommodation ranges from single bedrooms in countryside hotels with basic amenities to fully-stocked, multiple bedroom houses, some with swimming pools and breathtaking views of the Mediterranean, vineyards and rolling, dried-up hills. Price, location and availability also vary, and all participating properties can be booked directly through the Cyprus Agrotourism Company website.

Patacones on The Rock

Even though The Duke's hillside quarters are only available to his fancy friends, I recommend scouring through the listing so that you too can some time escape reality. That cool night, after a long swim in Latsi's empty seas, we uncorked two Kyperounda whites and several bottles of KEO and Grolsch, grilled lamb chops, vegetables, halloumi and yoghurt-marinated chicken kebab, and forgot about our lives back in the capital, all to an R&B and old school hip-hop soundtrack cooked up by R.O.I. The mood was so merry, The Wife, Ph.D., in an obvious lapse of judgment, granted me carte blanche to deep-fry plantains and add a hint of mi tierra to the soiree.

2011 Kyperounda Petritis (Xynisteri) - Bright nose with notes of jasmine, citrus and some peach. On the palate, grapefruit and a touch of melon, a meticulous use of oak and nice acidity. 87/100.

2010 Kyperounda Chardonnay - Already reviewed here!