A New Lease on Life

Vlassides Winery's New Facade

I first visited Vlassides Winery eight years ago. My gringo buddies Just Like Staples and Policarpa were in tow and I had promised them a flashy visit to one of The Rock's up-and-coming wineries. We made our way up to picturesque Kilani where we found US-trained Sophocles Vlassides' rudimentary operation sheltered in his parents' home and the village's former market. There wasn't much of a tour—one of the rooms packed in the steel fermentation tanks, the other the barrels that served as temporary vessels for his award-winning Cabernet Sauvignon and Shiraz. The closest thing to a tasting area was his parents' patio where under an old tree we were treated to homemade cheese pies, glasses of Cabernet and plenty of stories from Sophocles' garrulous, charismatic father. I fondly recall the hour or so we spent at the winery; it was a distinct throwback to a not-so-distant era in which random visitors arrived unannounced and were treated with that same warmth afforded to family.

Let me be honest: Vlassides is probably my favourite Cypriot winery. The memories I've made in which his wines have played a prominent role—both in Cyprus and abroad—have piled up and earned multiple stars in my own personal walk of fame. For one, his Shiraz made it all the way across the Atlantic the first time The Wife, Ph.D., visited me during my self-imposed exile from employment in Ecuador. It was also the red wine of choice (Aes Ambelis Xynisteri was the white) during our drunken, table-dancing nuptials in Cyprus not long thereafter. Plus, I admire Sophocles for the work he's done both as an oenologist and consultant to other wineries, helping raise the industry's standards and paving the way for Cypriot wine's bright future.

View from Vlassides Winery

In the spirit of this moment, Vlassides Winery has been the latest to go through a metamorphosis, introducing a new, modern and more sophisticated range of labels, logos and titles for its already excellent wines. This makes perfect sense given all the work that was put into building Vlassides' new home, a futuristic wonder just south of Kilani, chock-full of vertices, protruding boxes and smooth planes that stands alongside Argyrides Winery in Vasa Kilaniou as my favourites design-wise. Given both of these wineries' obvious architectural dissimilarities, that says plenty about my fickle persona.

Designed by architects Eraclis Papachristou and Yiannos Tsiolis and brought to life in 2014, the winery features two distinct areas—one where all the arduous grape-related work happens, another dedicated to hosting visitors, throwing parties and lecturing amateurs on the wonderful world of wine. Albeit, what's worth noting is that guests don't need to leave this second area to see all that's going on at the winery; an elevated corridor that extends from the tasting area, as described in Arch Daily, "create[s] panoramic views...to the winemaking and storage rooms equally, benefiting the visitor with a general experience of the winemaking process."

New Labels Revealed

While the latest labels and logo do not take a patriotic stand and represent all that is great about The Rock, they establish a new direction and identity for Vlassides' eighteen-year-old operation. These abstract and modern labels—developed with thought, art and geometry in mind—harmonize with the winery's architecture; squares and rectangles, straight lines, sharp angles and 3-D optical illusions combine with the same sense of fluidity offered by walking through Vlassides' premises to give the winery's image a new lease on life.

This new life was on full display at an event hosted several weeks back in Kilani to announce and celebrate the launch of the winery's renewed face and offer revelers a taste of several current and older vintages. The 2016 Sauvignon Blanc, easily one of the best on the island year in and year out, shone with its lovely tropical, citrus aromas, while the 2009 Cabernet Sauvignon, an older and rarer vintage, drank remarkably fresh for a seven-year-old Cypriot red. Personally, I found Sophocles' current experiments to be the evening's highlights; he offered guests a 2015 Yiannoudi that, despite its vines' youth, showed plenty of fruit and promise, and a 2015 dessert wine made of Sauvignon Blanc that had decent balance and matched nicely with the variety of cheeses on offer. I believe both would be nice additions to what's already an excellent wine portfolio anchored by his Shiraz, Cabernet Sauvignon and Private Label—the Shiraz, Cabernet and Merlot blend that has been re-baptized as Opus Artis.

For a closer look at the launch, here's a snazzy promotional video released by Vlassides. PS: Keep an eye out for The Wife, Ph.D., who makes a sneakily sexy two-second cameo appearance mingling with The Rock's wine celebrities.

Mystify Me

"Eternally wild with the power

To make every moment come alive

All those stars that shine upon you

And they'll kiss you every night."

- INXS, Mystify

Michael Hutchence and company could have very well been talking about [insert the variety of your choice] hanging on a vine when they penned this song in the mid-1980s. And it couldn't have rung truer as wine is one of life's mystical beings. Just here on The Rock, both budding oenologists and experienced professionals continue their experiments with grapes, many of them taking that scary step towards entrepreneurship and launching brand-spanking new wineries. This week, for instance, I came across Vassiliades Expressions Winery, a small family-owned business located in Chandria that (per a photo on their Facebook page) has gone rogue and will try to grow Pinot Noir (gasp!) on Cypriot soil. Let's just say I'm looking forward to sampling their first bottling of what is one of my top three varieties alongside Nebbiolo and Xinomavro.

Range of Mystys Wines

With this in mind, I would like to introduce you to a new winery whose wines I have had the pleasure of sampling on repeated occasions during the past few months. Mystys, a Paphos-based project, released its first vintage in 2014 consisting of the 2013 Chardonnay, 2013 Shiraz Rose and 2013 Maratheftiko. If I am not mistaken, prices range from 12 to 15 Euros. Little information is available on the winery but you can procure these wines at Vinocultura in Nicosia. Here are my takes on what appears to be a promising enterprise!

2013 Mystys Chardonnay - A nose dominated by oak, smoke and cedar box with light hints of honeysuckle and sweet apples. Definitely over-oaked in my opinion. On the palate, some citrus and pear in the background. Boxy taste, rather short, needs work. Not Rated.

2013 Mystys Shiraz Rose - Muted aromas of red candied fruits. Off-dry feel dominated by sweet strawberries and other red forrest berries. A touch gloppy for my taste but worked quite well with slightly spicy Asian food. 85/100.

2013 Maratheftiko - Their best wine by a mile. I have drank this vintage five or six times and enjoyed it every single time. Beautiful, deep violet hue with lovely aromas of dark berries and fresh-cut flowers. Plummy and herbal with firm tannins and good length. Will soften and improve in a year or two. 87/100.

ZZ Top of Cypriot Wines ( Part II)

Here's Part Two of the fun Google Hangout with Marcos Zambartas and Marleen Zambartas Brouwer of Zambartas Wineries and the bloke behind Vino Vademecum, an online wine shop based out of Austria. They touch upon a whole range of (other) subjects in this forty minute video: Alain Ducasse recipes, the history and main characteristics of Lefkada, ageing potential of the Zambartas Shiraz-Lefkada, oak barrels and forests, more on Sauvignon Blanc, and the winery's future wines. Enjoy.

In case you missed it, here's Part One.

ZZ Top of Cypriot Wines (Part I)

Here's a fun Google Hangout with Marcos Zambartas and Marleen Zambartas Brouwer of Zambartas Wineries and the bloke behind Vino Vademecum, an online wine shop based out of Austria. They touch upon a whole range of subjects in this lengthy forty-five minute video: the winery's history, the roots of the name Zambartas, local varieties like Xynisteri, the style of wines produced by Marcos and his team, etc. Skip to minute four to get started.

 

Squashing It

Entrance, Fikardos Winery

At first glance, there's not much to Fikardos Winery. Located in an industrial area off the main road to Tsada from Paphos, the converted warehouse does not have the awe-inspiring views of other Cypriot wineries nor is it surrounded by vineyards. A small, simple lobby with a long table for tastings and white walls showcasing multiple awards at local and international competitions lead to a large open area where owner and winemaker Theodoros Fikardos, Cypriot wine's mad scientist, plies his trade. Fikardos Fikardos, Theodoros' dashing, well-spoken oldest son, greeted The Wife, Ph.D., and me by the entrance and immediately engaged us in conversation while we awaited the arrival of Elena Sophocleous Toth of WineriesCyprus.com and her charming entourage of husband + kids.

Father & Son

Per Fikardos' account, the winery was established more than twenty years ago with the fall of the Soviet Union. A significant decrease in Cypriot exports of sherry and raisins meant vineyards were readily available and wine production became a viable option for small business owners. Technical consultants were brought from abroad to study the island's terroir and determine which varieties best suited Cyprus. This push, said Fikardos, introduced noble varieties like Shiraz, Cabernet Sauvignon and Chardonnay and partly displaced indigenous varieties, a move that is now being rectified as winemakers are more eager to work with Maratheftiko ("The diva of the Cypriot vineyard!" said Elena), Xynisteri and lesser known grapes like Promara, Spourtiko and Giannoudi. Theodoros, who owned a restaurant and had a tingling for wine, took the plunge and set up his operation at its current location, a space so massive Fikardos has considered building a squash court for those slow days at the office. Fikardos also told us they had plans to build a new winery in Pano Arodes, next to their three-year old vineyards, but the financial crisis struck and put a halt to that.

With a glass of free-run Semillon juice as thirst quencher and a few bunches of chilled Cabernet Sauvignon grapes as snacks, our visit was less tour and more lively conversation about all-things Cyprus wine followed by an extensive tasting of Fikardos' portfolio.

Squash Anyone?

On Wine Competitions: Fikardos made it clear that it is too expensive to send all of their wines, or at least many of them, to compete for accolades. Some contests charge up to 500 Euros per allotment, he explained. What they do is randomly select a few to ship off and hope for the best. I asked about the lauded 2011 Cabernet Sauvignon, Grand Gold Medal winner in Thessaloniki, and he chuckled. His father wasn't planning on attending the event until he got a call from an excited friend urging him to show up for the announcement of the results. Upon receiving the award, the Cab sold out within days, except for a few bottles that are available at the winery for 25 Euros a pop. I've had this wine on two occasions and it's remarkably good even though I thought it needed to age for a few years. The inky deep violet wine has a bouquet marked by cassis, dark berries, coffee, leather and dark chocolate, and a palate dominated by smooth, chewy tannins, an excellent full-bodied structure and hints of black berries and cinnamon with a long sour finish.

On Fikardos' Wine Portfolio: It's widely known throughout The Rock that Theodoros Fikardos loves to experiment when making wine. At one point in time, the winery had more than twenty different labels out in the market. His son, who recently completed his studies in Food Marketing and Economics, has been trying to curtail his father's penchant for experimentation. The winery now produces 14 wines (6 whites, 2 roses and 6 reds if I am not mistaken), and Theodoros is only allowed to add one if he removes another. Talk about pressure. For instance, after many years, their Lefkada has been discontinued. There is a fifteenth wine, Sunnama, a limited edition dessert wine made Commandaria-style but with the Malaga variety that is available only at the winery for about 20 Euros. I asked whether they had ever experimented with bubblies, and Fikardos told us they hadn't as the costs to produce a good sparkling wine (via proper methods) are rather prohibitive.

Tasting Room

Their Most Popular Wine: Without a doubt, said Fikardos, it's Valentina, a semi-sweet rose that screams spicy food and remains the preferred choice of many visitors. If I recall correctly, Fikardos mentioned that sales of Valentina amount to more than half of the winery's total sales. The Wife, Ph.D., and I had it following our afternoon at the winery with pollo saltado, a piquant Peruvian chicken stir fry, and it matched nicely. This Cabernet Sauvignon-Mataro rose has a vibrant bouquet of candied strawberries, cranberries and pomegranate with similar candied flavours on the palate without being cloyingly sweet.

On Spourtiko: Fikardos Winery is one of two local wineries currently working with Spourtiko, an indigenous Cypriot variety that has taken a backseat to better-known Xynisteri. The grape is very thin skinned and therefore fragile, and the bunches are loosely packed. One positive of this variety, he said, is that it helps Maratheftiko (what a diva!) pollinate. This grape makes a very delicate, fresh and easy drinking white (we sampled the 2013) with aromas of lemon zest, white flowers and a touch of passion fruit. It is light bodied with decent acidity yet relatively short with hints of tangerine, lime and sour fruits dominating throughout.

Baptising Their Wines: Theodoros Fikardos names most of his wines after either family/friends or Greek goddesses. Valentina, for instance, is his daughter, and Leonardo, a higher-end red that varies in makeup from year to year (2012 is a single-estate Shiraz), is his youngest son. An amused Fikardos told us he cannot complain as his name is on every single bottle released.

Fikardos & Our Line-Up

Family Pride: Fikardos is very proud of the winery as the ultimate family-run business. Decision-making on all fronts is done in a democratic manner involving the winery's six team members. Outside help is brought in occasionally, yet Fikardos foresees their team multiplying once their grapes in Pano Arodes reach proper maturity and require more meticulous care throughout the season.

Long gone are the days when Cypriots matched their meals with whiskey, says a pensive Fikardos. The younger generations are learning more and more about wine, attending lectures, participating in tastings, visiting wineries. Of course, I concur. We bid adieu, until next time. Our cars are heavier from the bottles sideways in our trunks, our taste buds tingle from the line-up. Fikardos Winery is in good hands, we tell ourselves. Yes, it definitely is.

Best. White. Period.

Red & White

And so I've found the best white wine produced on The Rock. By goleada as a South American football fan would exclaim.

Kyperounda Winery recently launched a line of high-end wines under the label Epos. These wines, a red and a white, are made from Kyperounda's own vineyards, which allows the oenology team to monitor the grapes' development and release products that closely mirror the winery's terroir. Each bottle costs about 18 Euros, and the white, for Radio Free Cyprus' and my amateurish wine sampling skills, is simply superb.

2011 Kyperounda Epos White (Chardonnay) - Beautiful, rounded nose of pears, green apples, a hint of citrus fruits and oak. Fullish on the palate with notes of citrus, pears and white pepper. Quite long and with good acidity for a Chardonnay. 91/100.

2009 Kyperounda Epos Red (Cabernet Sauvignon & Shiraz) - Nice red fruit, black pepper, some dark cherry, coffee and oak on the nose.What is most attractive about this wine is a subtle note of licorice, mint and/or eucalyptus that sings throughout. Medium bodied with smooth tannins. 89/100.

In Our Element

Cellar at Zambartas Wineries

As a (pseudo) wine blogger, I am not industrious enough to visit and write about The Rock's wineries on a semi-regular basis. Financial constraints, the size of my liver and The Wife, Ph.D.'s indecisiveness put a damper on any desire I might have to hit the winding roads each weekend, tour a handful and load up my station wagon with cases of Xynisteri, Maratheftiko and Shiraz. Once in a while, though, my bullheadedness barrels through and The Wife, Ph.D. can only nod as I lead her up the mountain into the arms of a local winemaker.

So in an obvious lapse of parental judgment, the stage was set a few weeks ago for Little Miss Despot's first winery visit—a long drive to Zambartas Winery, one of The Rock's best and most consistent wineries, a didactic presentation on wine-making, a tasting of six excellent wines, great conversation, and multiple breastfeeding and diaper changing sessions in the back seat of my soccer mom car. My Zolpidem Supplier, Radio Free Cyprus and Cousin #2, brave enough to join us on our adventure, can attest to the stink that emanated from inside our vehicle.

A piece by Hambis in the tasting mezzanine

The Dijon-mustard-toned winery (which doubles as Mr. Akis Zambartas' residence) sits at the edge of Ayios Amvrosios, a village just northwest of Limassol, and overlooks a sprawl of vineyards and hills. What first captures your attention upon walking in is the oenologist's wonderful collection of engravings by his close friend and noted Cypriot artist Hambis Tsangaris decorating its walls. A touching portrait of Mr. Zambartas hangs as centerpiece on a living room wall and several other pieces are showcased on the metallic stairwell that descends into the tasting and vinification areas. The tasting room, a welcome addition since my last visit pre-blog, is a modern yet warm mezzanine with shiny red cabinets for storage, lacquered barrels topped with clear glass as bars, and a long plastic white table to accommodate the imbibers. From the balcony, one can peer down and see the many steel fermentation tanks, each with its own humorous moniker, standing in a row like shiny, metallic watchtowers. Overall, the winery's facilities are not extravagant and might convince the foolish and/or uninitiated (like Radio Free Cyprus and myself) that all one needs to make good wine is a medium-sized warehouse and some start-up capital to buy the necessary equipment. And that's precisely why my nous is better suited to "write" (cough, cough) than to keep a business afloat.

Akis Zambartas in his element!

Mr. Zambartas, former winemaker and general manager at KEO, led us downstairs for the educational component of the tour, a detailed explanation on the agricultural, biological and chemical processes involved in wine-making. Following an informative (chemists rejoice!) and engaging 25-minute session, we headed back upstairs to the tasting mezzanine where wine glasses and a simple white bread and cheese platter awaited. The Zambartas lineup consists of two whites, one rose and three reds, each among the best of their kind on The Rock. The 2012 Zambartas Semillon/Sauvignon Blanc blend recalled grapefruits, pears and a touch of white flowers on the nose and had a bewildering hint of spicy Turkish  Cypriot delight and honey on the palate. The 2012 Zambartas Rose, a wine which I have waxed ecstatic about in the past, is as good as ever, likewise the 2011 Zambartas Maratheftiko, a favorite of mine, and the 2011 Shiraz Lefkada, arguably Zambartas's most refined, powerful and intriguing wine. The 2011 Zambartas Epicurean, a Merlot and Lefkada blend, though, surprised me the most. This wine's 2010 vintage combined Maratheftiko, Merlot, Shiraz and Lefkada and, in my opinion, paled in comparison to the new-and-improved bottling which had interesting plum and dark forest fruit notes and was a lot more focused, leaner and elegant.

L.M.D. in her element?

Even though Marcos Zambartas, the younger half of the wine-making team and latest interviewee on the blog's "Case of Questions," was busy tending the vines, Mr. Zambartas and Marleen Brouwer, the winery's social media, P.R. and marketing machine, sat with us and discussed what the future beholds for the family business. Like Tsiakkas and Kyperounda wineries, a high-quality Commandaria is in the works (barrel aging right now!) and should be released in 2014. Furthermore, simple and affordable red and white wines will soon be for sale in restaurants and hotels, a clear sign of the industry's need to cater to tourists and the lighter wallet during these times of recession. Overall, our hosts' graciousness, hospitality and vats of knowledge, combined with the inviting setting, make Zambartas Winery an ideal place to learn about and taste some of Cyprus' best wines.

On our way out, I purchased half a case of wine, including two bottles of the Semillon/Sauvignon Blanc blend as a puppy treat for The Wife, Ph.D., being such a good sport. We stopped at the beautiful Apokryfo Traditional Houses in Lofou for lunch at Agrino Restaurant (unfortunately overrated!) and then rushed back to Nicosia before Little Miss Despot woke up, begging once again for wine-spiked milk and a wet cotton-ball scrub down. For better or for worse, this is our new element.

Sleepless in Row One Eight Seven

It's tough for me to sleep on airplanes. I'm the opposite of The Wife, Ph.D., who minutes before takeoff unlaces her shoes, drapes a blanket over her small frame, rests her head on the window and several hours later needs an extra-strong coffee to acknowledge my cranky presence next to her. While she dreams, I watch lame movies and television series, spread runny cheese on stale bread, stuff my face with complementary Twix bars, and try to read without being interrupted by sudden turbulence. If someone remotely interesting is on the other side, I'll talk and talk and talk as if the airplane's engines depended on my verbosity to keep humming. In the past, I've even self-medicated with drowsy cough syrup, which helped me get some shuteye but seemed somewhat irresponsible. These days—no surprises here—I get sloshed on multiple aviation bottles (187 ml) of average wine and wake up depressed and hungover yet with little recollection of the trip. Hyperbole is indeed my middle name so don't be too frightened if one day you are sitting next to me on a transatlantic flight.

Four down, one to go

Besides helping me cope with travel, these minute bottles are ideal for certain occasions. First, they keep my drinking during dinner in check; no longer do I feel tempted to polish off a regular-sized bottle with little assistance from The Wife, Ph.D. Plus, I still experience the sense of accomplishment that comes from consuming an entire bottle minus the massive blow to the liver. Second, it facilitates multiple tastings of fresh wines without the uncorked bottles sitting around to be finished a day or two later and being exposed to oxidation. Third, I can stuff a bottle or two down my pants and smuggle them into a boring football match, Greek theater, Sunday mass, doctor appointments, AA meetings and lonely nights in bed.

Here on The Rock, as far as I know, your best bets for decent Cypriot wine in aviation bottles are Aes Ambelis and Makkas Winery. Alfa Mega stocks miniature versions of Makkas' white, rosé and red and these have become my go-to wines on school nights.

2011 Makkas Red Dry (Grenache, Shiraz, Maratheftiko and Lefkada) - This was the highest-rated Cypriot wine at the 2012 Decanter World Wine Awards. Very smoky and meaty nose with a floral component and a touch of cherries. Chewy tannins, great mouth-feel, good weight and smooth transitions. Flavor-wise, meaty and earthy with notes of red fruit. 88/100.

2011 Makkas Rodostafylo Rosé (Maratheftiko and Lefkada) - To the nose, sweet red fruit like pomegranate and candied strawberries. Tastes predominantly of raspberries but I found it kind of mild and rather flat. Short with a bitter finish. 80/100.

2011 Makkas White Dry (Chardonnay and Xynisteri) - Green apples, peaches and a citrus component come together in a pretty nose with some sweetness to it. Medium-bodied with a flavor profile that recalls tropical fruits (some pineapple, some guava) and citrus. Fresh and good for the summer. 84/100.

Intergalactic Visitors

Geographically speaking, The Rock is on prime global real estate, [CLICHÉ ALERT] the crossroads between East and West. You'd think it'd be easy for those of us living here to pack a rucksack and embark on weekend trips to Rome, Berlin, Amman or Prague. Problems, however, are manifold. Outbound flights to such livelier places are either prohibitively expensive for the underemployed (i.e. me) or painstakingly long. My always willing blue station wagon stalls at the sight of that cul-de-sac known as the Mediterranean sea. The daring captain of the fluorescent yellow bicep-powered kayak—it flies the Ecuadorian flag—breaks down, dehydrated and teary-eyed, exactly one nautical mile into his virgin voyage to the Holy Land. Applications for a single-entry visa into the teleportation device keep getting rejected because of weight limitations inside the vortex.

To stave off the depression that builds up like chimney soot from too many sea-locked weekends, The Wife, Ph.D. and I often play hosts to intergalactic visitors brought to The Rock by our fancy friends. This is by far the safest and most responsible form of escapism available to islanders. Cue Random White Guy (RWG), My Life Coach's Midwestern buddy and chatterbox on a sabbatical from his job as head choreographer, special effects consultant and costume designer for the "We Are Mizzou" series of basketball videos. Friday night barbecue. Protaras, the blog's summer headquarters. We break bread and he drinks my wine. He quizzes The Wife, Ph.D., and My Zolpidem Supplier on American history and praises (because he does not know better) family life on The Rock. We drool at the thought of Bavarian girls pounding liters of beers and hiding their curves under a dirndl during Oktoberfest. Prediabetes strikes after taking a few small bites of the—what's a word for cloying to the tenth power?—store-bought cake he brought for dessert. Time comes to deal with the burning charcoal. RWG approaches the grill, notices the glowing embers and chivalrously offers to pee them out. I chuckle at the potty humor, douse the fire with what's left of an insipid Roditis Sauvignon Blanc, and think it'd be awesome to visit the faraway planet RWG calls home.

2007 Domaine Vlassides Shiraz - Nice bouquet marked by smoke, black fruit, plums, pepper and coffee. On the palate, blackberry, pepper and vanilla. Chewy tannins and very smooth. 88/100.

2011 Ktima Keo Rose (Cabernet Sauvignon and Sauvignon Blanc) - Strawberry, pomegranate and some lingering sweetness on the nose. Flavor-wise, candied cherry, other bright red fruit and rose petals. Thirst-quenching. 84/100.

The Rock @ DWWA 2012

It's that time of the year again. The Decanter World Wine Awards, version 2012.

As usual, The Rock sent multiple samples and received its share of the hardware. I was hoping for a better showing by Mara Theft, Inc., but the variety failed to pack a punch internationally. In any case, Makkas Winery in Pafos emerged as the big winner with the only two silver medals awarded to Cyprus. Below is the complete list of Cypriot silver and bronze medal victors. For the commended wines, run a search here!

Silver Medals

2011 Makkas Winery Gold Red Blend (Shiraz, Grenache & Maratheftiko)

2010 Makkas Winery Gold Shiraz

Bronze Medals 

2011 Aes Ambelis Winery Rose

2009 Ezousa Shiraz

2010 Makkas Winery Maratheftiko

2010 Makkas Winery Gold Merlot

2011 Sodap Stroumpeli Rose (Maratheftiko)

2011 Tsalapatis Winery Rigena (Xynisteri)

2011 Tsangarides Winery Chardonnay

2007 Tsiakkas Winery Cabernet Sauvignon

2011 Tsiakkas Winery Xynisteri

2010 Zambartas Wineries Maratheftiko

2011 Zambartas Wineries Semillon - Sauvignon Blanc

2010 Zambartas Wineries Shiraz - Lefkada

Mara Theft, Incorporated.

Like a Central American mara highjacking a military arms convoy, Maratheftiko stole the show at the 7th Cyprus Wine Competition staged in Limassol this past weekend. The Rock's most important indigenous variety ganged up on its rivals and beat them to the pulp, amassing five gold medals, three silver and multiple accolades from the international panel of jurors. Tom Cannavan, editor at wine-pages.com and a jury member, tweeted about the overall selection to acclaimed wine writer Jancis Robinson: "some lovely Syrah and Maratheftiko (really very good) and one or two Xynisteri's really singing. Cabs and Merlot so so." Such success bodes very well for Cypriot wine and I, for one, hope to see similar performances by the variety in future international wine competitions.

Besides serving as Maratheftiko's coming-out party, the event was marked by the Grand Gold Medal for the 2005 KEO St. John Commandaria and yet another gold for Agia Mavri's Mosxatos, which a Cannavan tweet referred to as "mind-blowingly good" and "some of the world's great sweet wines." Personally, I was surprised no medals were awarded to Aes Ambelis and Domaine Hadjiantonas, two excellent wineries that usually take their share of the loot. Likewise, I believe I was robbed of an opportunity to blog live about the event when I wasn't extended an invitation to the gala dinner. Yes, my writing is utterly shallow but that shouldn't detract from my self-assigned status as the Beauloais Nouveau of Cyprus wine writers. You know, fresh, festive, a tad immature and unrefined yet perfectly satisfying.

Gold medals are listed below. For the full results, click here.

Grand Gold Medal

2005 KEO St. John Commandaria

Gold Medal

Sweet Wines

2010 Agia Mavri Mosxatos

Dry Red Wines

2009 Kyperounda Cabernet Sauvignon

2005 Vassilikon "Methi" Cabernet Sauvignon

2010 Argyrides Cabernet Sauvignon/Merlot

2008 Ezousa Metharmi Maratheftiko

2010 Argyrides Maratheftiko

2010 Apostaktirio Nicholas Ignatiou "Gerani" Maratheftiko

2010 Zambartas Maratheftiko

2010 Makkas Maratheftiko

2009 Kyperounda Shiraz

2009 Constantinou Shiraz

2010 Kyperounda Shiraz

Dry White Wines

2011 Kyperounda Petritis Xynisteri

2011 Constantinou Ayioklima Xynisteri

2011 Kyperounda Chardonnay

Awards! Awards! Awards!

A Friday quick hitter before I waste the weekend away glued to a television screen watching college basketball. It's that time of the year. Finally. Check out Act II if you're oblivious to the greatest sporting event on earth.

Awards have been handed out for the 2012 Thessaloniki International Wine Competition held from March 8th to 10th in Thessaloniki, Greece. As usual, The Rock's wines performed admirably well, bringing home a handful of Gold and Silver medals and, most importantly, the Grand Gold Medal for the 2002 SODAP Saint Barnabas Commandaria. Below you can find a list of The Rock's victorious entries. Click here for a complete list of winners.

Grand Gold

2002 SODAP Saint Barnabas Commandaria

Gold

2008 SODAP Stroumpeli Merlot

2007 Hadjiantonas Winery Shiraz-Cabernet Sauvignon

2010 Ayia Mavri Winery Mosxatos

2011 Ayia Mavri Winery Mosxatos

2005 Kolios Winery Shiraz

2011 Hadjiantonas Winery Rose

2008 Hadjiantonas Winery Shiraz

Silver

2011 Hadjiantonas Winery Chardonnay

Wine On The Seahorse

After Crete, what's Greece's largest island? Quick, clock's ticking.

Do you see the seahorsey?

If you answered Evia, the seahorse of a rock separated from mainland Greece by the Euripus Strait, then, congrats, you get a well-earned smiley face (or pat on the butt) on this impromptu quiz. At its narrowest, the strait is only thirty-eight meters. So unless you are Greek, a geography or history buff or some sort of mutant with superhuman vision, it's practically impossible to tell it's an island from just looking at a map. I live on this side of the world and I had no clue up until about a week ago that what I thought was a strip of land north of Athens was no other than a bewildering wine-producing rock. I guess this "discovery" could've only occurred thanks to my quasi-obsessive-compulsive need to walk up and down the wine aisle at our local supermarket studying labels instead of picking vegetables for her highness, The Wife, Ph.D.

Anyhow, I've spent the past twenty minutes trying to disinter information on Evia (or Euboea) and its wines and, unfortunately, I've come up (almost) as empty-handed as Olympique Lyonnais the crisp night of March 7th. Here's a brief excerpt on Central Greece from Greekwinemakers.com:

"Central Greece is the traditional stronghold of retsina and plantings are dominated by the Savatianó variety, from which retsina has been most commonly vinified. Savatiano accounts for most of the production in Attika (roughly 90%), a majority in Evia (around 75%) and half of production in Voetia. The Savatianó, historically, was never the exclusive basis for retsina, and until phyloxera arrived in central Greece between the first and second World Wars, was just one of a number of white varieties grown in the region. Today, the Savatianó owes its dominance less to historical preeminance [sic] than to the need to replenish vineyards with a highly productive variety suitable to the climate. Although the grape is characterized by low acidity, it at least has had the advantage of displaying some varietal character when resinated. Low yield farming and modern vinification have resulted in quality un-resinated mono-varietal versions of Savatianó that display the best attributes of the grape."

More specific to the actual island, New Wines of Greece, a portal designed to market indigenous Greek varieties in the US, notes that:

2009 Vriniotis Winery IAMA

"...[u]p until 10 years ago, all that was known of winegrowing [sic] activities in Evia regarded the traditional production methods in the central and southern part of the island. Nevertheless, the particularly successful entrance of northern Evia in the game through cultivation of numerous Greek and international varieties as well as through production of many new wines, created the need for the establishment of a PGI Evia zone. The presence of the native varieties of Vrathiano and Karabraimis is noteworthy as is the Aegean influence (Aidani White, Athiri, Assyrtiko, Liatiko and Mandilaria) due to Evia’s geographical position. At present there are only four area wineries producing PGI Evia wines but their numbers are expected to increase."

"Discovery" made, I updated the blog's approved list of rocks and celebrated accordingly.

2009 Vriniotis Winery IAMA (Syrah and Vradiano blend) - Nice bouquet marked by red fruit, dark chocolate, vanilla and a hint of oak. Raspberries on the palate with great length, firm tannins and a fantastic tart fruit finish. Its awesome acidity had The Wife, Ph.D., and I puckering our lips like babies sucking on lime wedges. 90/100.

Where's All The Si-Silliness Gone?

Allow me to be serious for once in my life. All I hope is that this very brief overview of Nero d'Avola, Sicily's premier red indigenous grape, is not overbearingly pedantic. Or taken over by one hefty paragraph lifted from a revered wine publication since I have never set foot on what I assume is a lovely Italian rock occasionally run asunder by slick-haired mobsters and tempestuous old ladies swinging ratty brooms at immature miscreants for stealing over-sized undergarments that have been hung out to dry.

According to Decanter's March 2012 issue and its sponsored guide on Sicily (pages 70 through 84),

2008 Zisola "Doppiozeta"

"It's the [island's] reds...that have captured the interest of an international market. Nero d'Avola became fashionable in the 1990s, and for good reason. Its bright cherry and plum fruit can be delightful, and more serious, oak-aged versions can have an appealing savoury intensity and lush texture...The heartland of Nero d'Avola is the region north of the coastal town of Agrigento, although Noto in the southeast is often thought to produce the finest and best quality."

The two excellent Sicilian wines I tasted along with The Wife, Ph.D., and My Zolpidem Supplier came from the Zisola Mazzei Estate located in Noto and can be purchased at Cava Inon Pnevmata in Nicosia.

2009 Zisola Mazzei Sicilia IGT (Nero D'Avola) - Nose recalls cherries, raspberries, powdered chocolate, pepper and some greenness. A meaty wine of medium length with juicy tannins and black cherry undertones. 87/100.

2008 Zisola "Doppiozeta" Noto Rosso DOC (60% Nero D'Avola, 30% Syrah and 10% Cabernet Franc) - Leathery, smoked meats, red fruit, vegetables and loads of spice come together in a powerful nose. Some chocolate and vanilla and fantastic meatiness through the mid-palate. Sweet, caramel-like finish. I have another bottle which I will age for a year or two or three and see what's up then. 90/100.

Plonk By Monks?

Do you see what I see?

Few things in this world would beat witnessing the Lord Almighty, Virgin Mary or any of the Apostles emerge sublime and immaculate from the thick and creamy head of a rich Trappist Belgian beer. Doubters might argue you suffered from the hallucinatory effects of one too many Tripels, but sipping on anything lovingly crafted by monks is bound to involve a spiritual awakening of sorts. Soon enough I hope to land in Brussels, hand the keys to the rental car over to The Wife, Ph.D., and drink my way through the six Trappist monasteries in search of apparitions and that elusive case of Westvleteren. Until then, I am content to be sea-locked and chasing visions of heaven in the tears of a wine glass.

There's only one Cypriot winery that has enough clout with God to offer me a religious experience. Near the village of Panagia in Pafos, the Holy Virgin of Chrysorroyiatissa Monastery has been producing wine for more than two centuries. According to Yiannos Constantinou's Cyprus Wine Guide,

"...in September 1984...winemaking at the monastery was really modernized, when the present Abbot Dionysios decided to start operating the winery again. This was the first attempt to set up a regional winery that would restrict its activities to producing limited quantities of wine, in contrast to the large wine factories that dominated wine-production in Cyprus at the time. Today, Chrysorroyiatissa winery turns out around one hundred and fifty thousand bottles of wine annually, produced from grapes grown on some 25 hectares of its own vineyards planted with both local (Xynisteri, Mavro, Maratheftiko, Ofthalmo) as well as imported (Mataro, Merlot, Cabernet Sauvignon, Chardonnay, Riesling) grape varieties. The winery plans to treble its acreage of vineyards in the next few years."

2009 Monastiri, a Holy Blend.

The monastery is probably best known for its two table wines, Ayios Andronicos, a white wine made of Xynisteri and meant to be consumed young, and Ayios Elias, a simple red quaff of local varieties. Both are decent wines but neither of them had me seeing things. Lo and behold, the Parents-in-Law, after a recent weekend peregrination to the monastery to (I presume) cleanse all sins, brought me a bottle of 2009 Monastiri, a Cabernet Sauvignon, Merlot and Shiraz blend I had no clue the monks made. Alas, let's just say I am still desperately seeking Savior.

2009 Chrysorroyiatissa Monastiri (Cabernet Sauvignon, Merlot and Shiraz) - Satisfying aroma marked by blackberries, plum, black pepper, cloves and a light hint of vanilla and chocolate. To the palate, harsh tannins and a noticeable spike in the alcohol that smoothed out once the wine was matched with food and had enough time to breathe. Black fruit predominates in a blend that lacked some flavor in the mid-palate and ultimately failed to pack a punch. 83/100.

Pastel Pink Mummies

The Wife, Ph.D.'s Latest Nightmare

One morning a few months ago The Wife, Ph.D., and I ran out of toilet paper. Colorful IKEA napkins and a couple packs of pocket-sized tissues were on standby just in case I couldn't track down extra-soft, fragrant and medicinal rolls at the convenience store just two blocks from our apartment. The selection wasn't remarkable, but a six-pack of pastel pink toilet paper printed with evenly distributed strawberries or dandelions (depending on the angle) caught my attention with its "Buy One, Get One Free" seduction ploy. Maybe it was the paper's shades of creamy-beetroot-and-mayonnaise salad that seduced me or the fact that deep down I stalk all types of bargains. The Wife, Ph.D., took one look at the puffy tubes and for a minute I feared she would wrap me in all that pink paper during my sleep, turning me into a flowered mummy Michael Kors would have been proud of calling his own creation. Her distaste for pink TP sparked my own revelation—Cyprus rosé season was upon us.

In the past, rosé wines never really rocked my kayak. However, as I sampled more and more of The Rock's rosé, the diverse bottlings made both with local and foreign varieties grew on me and have become a spring and summer staple chez nous. Unlike the toilet paper, The Wife, Ph.D., loves their fruitiness and freshness, and I agree with my friend AK-47 when he says that it's one of the better accompaniments to the schizophrenic spread—from crisp greens to grilled meats to saucy stews—known as Cyprus meze. Some bottles—the Zambartas rosé made of Cabernet Franc and Lefkada comes to mind—have become cult-classics, selling out quicker than the time it takes me to mock The Wife, Ph.D., on these pages. Besides Commandaria, I have no hesitation whatsoever asserting that, across-the-board, rosés are the best wines being produced on The Rock.

2011 Aes Ambelis Rosé (Maratheftiko & Lefkada)

Consumers, as well as the international and local press, seem to think alike. When I spoke to Theodoros Fikardos of Fikardos Winery at last year's Limassol Wine Festival, he pointed out that his clients' most beloved wines are his dry and medium rosés, Iocasti and Valentina. Furthermore, wine journalist Yiannos Constantinou extols on the virtues of The Rock's rosés throughout his Cyprus Wine Guide, probably the leading book on Cyprus wines. Likewise, year in, year out, Angela Muir, regional chair for Central & Eastern Europe in the Decanter World Wine Awards (DWWA), highly recommends these wines to visitors but warns consumers to stick to the current year's vintage to enjoy maximum freshness and flavor. Personally, I find it mind-boggling that (last time I checked) The Mall's Carrefour still shelved many bottles of the 2007 (?!?) Sodap Kamantarena rosé, a wine that's definitely way past its prime and might taste like some of the really old plonk I uncorked as a joke with My Zolpidem Supplier one merry Sunday morning. This oversight is a true pity since this wine's 2010 vintage won a Silver Medal at last year's DWWA. 

What's great about The Rock's rosés is that wineries are crafting them with many different varieties, creating a wide array of distinct aromas, flavor profiles and vibrant hues. Meant to be drank young, these playful wines explode upon being uncorked with the scent of raspberries, cherries, cranberries, strawberries, pomegranate, red roses, violets and/or wild herbs, among others. To the palate, the drier ones are fresh, crisp and abundantly acidic, while those with some residual sugar (off-dry) feel weightier yet remain thirst-quenching when served at a temperature between 5 and 8 degrees Celsius. Ultimately, they are not ultra-complex but they do a fine job once the scorching heat rolls in and you spend your afternoons preparing asparagus omelets with the sidewalk as a skillet. Keep in mind that not all Cyprus rosés are great but lately I haven't come across a disappointing bottle. Besides the aforementioned, some of my favorites are Aes Ambelis (Maratheftiko & Lefkada), Ezousa (Maratheftiko) and Hadjiantonas (Cabernet Sauvignon & Shiraz). Additionally, people I trust—Cousin #2 and Radio Free Cyprus—rave about Tsangarides Winery's rosé (Shiraz), a wine I have not had the good fortune to try. The day I do, though, rest assured I will spill some all over a white tablecloth and force The Wife, Ph.D. to pat the splotches dry with some sea salt and bargain toilet paper.

2011 Aes Ambelis Rose (Maratheftiko & Lefkada) - I chose this wine to launch our humble abode's 2012 rosé season. Vibrant aroma of roses, strawberry and pomegranate. Candied strawberries and other red berries on the palate. Syrupy with good length and a nice lingering sweetness. 87/100.

2011 Zambartas Rose (Lefkada & Cabernet Franc) - Lovely red fruit (cranberry and pomegranate) on the nose with just a hint of sweetness. Bright red fruit (red apple?) throughout the palate with a tangy finish. Good acidity but not as remarkable as past years' vintages. 86/100.

2011 Tsangarides Rose (Shiraz) - Tame nose with hints of sour cherries and cranberry. Dry to the mouth with notes of raspberry and a lively acidity. In my opinion, lacked some flavor and length. 85/100.

Shirazeffects

Cousin #2 and The Wife, Ph.D., after a bottle or two of 2010 Vlassides Shiraz + some Greek tsipouro. Happy times!

Off The Rock: Yarra Valley

From Party Pooper to Yarra de Puta...

Despite having tied the knot more than thirty years ago, my parents' marriage is a rather young one. After subtracting sleep and his weekly business trips from the equation, Mr. Flog estimates he has actually spent a total of four or five years with Mrs. Broken Record. If he had had a regular office job that required no travel, he assures us the marriage would have rushed down the gutter faster than confetti in a monsoon. My father proudly attributes his relationship's success to his frequent absences. What's also assured given the matrimony's youth is a vivacious back-and-forth banter, which admittedly sometimes skids across what would be considered a liberal outtake on marital life to land as confidently as a clumsy trapeze artist on the safety net of the dysfunctional. As my little brother likes to regurgitate every time the now eight of us meet: "If the outside world actually heard us, it'd think we're crazy." This makes for fascinating holidays and provides the family's cultural anthropologist with the unique opportunity to study lunacy at its infancy.

Once I managed to detach my parents from their Australian-Ecuadorian grandson, I suggested a day trip to the Yarra Valley, only an hour or so east of Melbourne and home to several excellent Pinot Noir and Chardonnay producers. The fine chap at King & Godfree, who I had engaged on the virtues of Tasmanian reds, also suggested a good itinerary for a short tour of the valley, chock-full of art perusal (Tarrawarra Estate and the Tarrawarra Museum of Art), wine tasting (Oakridge Winery) and fancy lunching (Giant Steps/Innocent Bystander). We loaded our rented (atrocious) pastel green Mitsubishi Lancer and sped eastbound on the Maroondah Highway towards Healesville, the Yarra Valley's capital of sorts.

My Stairway to Heaven, Oakridge Winery

For the first forty minutes, the drive was not what one would expect of wine country. All we saw were housing developments, strip malls, warehouses, department stores and gas stations. Suburban America at its worst. Only once did I catch a glimpse of a brown panel signalling left for a winery, a road that led into a residential neighborhood safely guarded by traffic lights. However, after a short uphill and downhill turn, the concrete disappeared to be replaced by tracts of rolling green pastures and the trunks of bare grapevines lined up and extending beyond our eyesight. The gloomy scenery was evocative of several regiments marching towards battle under a winter drizzle. A few minutes later, we reached the Yarra Glen-Healesville Y and turned right towards Oakridge Winery, first stop in our magical winery tour.

2010 Oakridge Chard

Oakridge's grounds are stunning. Hills covered in grapevines run throughout, while monumental trees and a small lake interrupt the beautiful monotony of the place. The winery is equipped with a large tasting room and restaurant that overlooks their plantings of Cabernet Sauvignon. I sampled six wines and was amazed at the presence of earth and minerals in all of them, maybe a clear reflection of their respect for terroir. My one caveat was that the servings were tiny—hardly a sip considering The Wife, Ph.D., stubbornly wanted to taste from my own glass—so it was challenging to judge each wine. I must say, though, that I loved the 2010 Oakridge Chardonnay and brought back a bottle for a special occasion involving me, myself and not Irene.

Applejack Vineyard Pinot

We then drove up to Innocent Bystander/Giant Steps for lunch at their highly recommended bistro. Unfortunately, that fickle saboteur known as inclement weather knocked down an old tree onto the power lines and ruined our carefully laid-out plans. No lights, no cooked foods. When Mrs. Broken Record, cradling a French baguette in her arms, asked whether she could at least buy some regional cheese, the woman behind the counter informed her she had strict orders to dispose of it all. Here's hoping a few kangaroos out in the fields got treated to lukewarm gourmet dairy. In any case, I tasted a few wines and this time The Wife, Ph.D., asked for her own glass. It's surprising how past noon, she metamorphoses into a drinkaholic.

Tarrawarra Museum

Given the mishap in Healesville, we headed to Tarrawarra Estate for the artsy-fartsy cultural component of the tour and a well-deserved (replacement) lunch, highlighted by my vegetarian eggplant in chickpea batter with cardamom honey, quinoa and cauliflower salad, and almond skordalia. However, the museum alone is worth a visit. Here we enjoyed Sandra Levesson's Paintings of Poise and Passion, abstract color-packed canvasses that jump out at you and flow like ocean waves, and James Morrison's The Great Tasmanian Wars, fifty-five panels depicting, in my opinion, a surreal and exotic meeting between man and nature.

Of course, all of this brought us to back to the banter. My father—I don't know if it's a sign of aging or a symptom of repeated cabin depressurization syndrome (yes, I made that up) caught from all his takeoffs and landings—is partially deaf in one ear. Compounded to this, prior to our Australian vacation, my mother suffered from an unidentified ear infection that had reduced hearing in one ear by a little more than seventy-five percent. Given such elevated level of auditory impairment, messages during our  journey were often misconstrued. At some point over lunch, my guess is my hungover father refused to have a glass of wine or my health-obsessed mother enjoy the pleasures of fried food, one called the other a "party pooper." Obviously, the injured party heard differently and fumed. It's still a mystery to both The Wife, Ph.D., and me how the exchange went from "party pooper" to "cara de puta." You heard right—bitch-face.

And then, in the Zen-like moment of the trip, Mr. Flog, who employs an outdated version of English (with a healthy tinge of Hispanic heat) that includes "shucks" and "golly" as favorite idioms, lectured us on finance, relationships and health. Concerning my mother's constant threat to leave him, he said: "Before we were married, I could run away with all of my money. After we got married, I could still run away but empty-handed. Soon enough, however, I won't even be able to run." God knows what will happen once Mr. Flog and Mrs. Broken Record hit the dreaded "Seven Year Itch" come 2023. One thing's for sure: I will be running as far away as possible.

0==(yarRA vaLLeY)

2006 Oakridge Shiraz - Dark fruit, leather, brown sugar and cinnamon, black pepper on the nose. Sour cherries on the finish. Tons of finesse in this well-made cool-climate Shiraz. 89/100.

2009 Tarrawarra Estate J-Block Shiraz - Dark forest fruits, black pepper, dark chocolate on the finish. Not impressed. Had it with my vegetarian dish at Tarrawarra Estate. 85/100.

2009 Mule Shiraz Gateway Vineyard - Very spicy, plummy, some coffee on this wine by Innocent Bystander. Not as refined as the Oakridge. 88/100.

2010 Innocent Bystander Cordon Cut Viognier - Peach, quince, banana, dried apricots and white chocolate on the nose. Full bodied, luscious, too heavy and syrupy for my taste. Shared one night with The Wife, Ph.D., and My Zolpidem Supplier upon returning to The Rock. 86/100.

Flowers! Flores! Fleurieu Peninsula!

Let me tell you a story about my mother, Mrs. Broken Record, and flowers. As a toddler, she split her time between Quito, perched nearly three thousand meters above sea level in a narrow valley surrounded by active volcanoes, and Manta, a lazy coastal city known for supplying the world with tuna fish and Panama hats. Back then, every so often, my grandfather commandeered a rickety Jeep through the potholed country roads and, family in tow, zigzagged his way up into the paramo's nippy heavens or headfirst towards the Pacific Ocean's savory humidity. Poor infrastructure made the drive brutally long and potty breaks, specially for the children, were of utmost importance. My mother, already exhibiting signs of her now magnified intolerance of filth and foul smells, refused to go to the bathroom wherever her father or older siblings mandated, be it on a patch of dried grass, against a mossy rock or behind a tree. The girl would only pee on color-laden flowers. So when nature called for Mrs. Broken Record, the family was put on high alert. The Jeep would stop and they'd jump out to comb the land for signs of polychromatic plant life. I am not sure what this says about my mother but, given her penchant for cleanliness, fragrance and luxury, it's not entirely surprising.

Flower #1

So on her birthday, celebrated in Melbourne, we took her to St. Jude's Cellars in Fitzroy where this blog honored her by ordering a couple wines from Southern Australia's Fleurieu Peninsula. Mrs. Broken Record, whose relationship to wine is as close as my own affair with sobriety, dismissed the two with a slight upturn of her chin followed by a healthy sip of her White Rabbit Dark Ale.

2009 Tapanappa Pinot Noir, Foggy Hill Vineyard, Fleurieu Peninsula, South Australia - Raspberries, strawberries, top soil, coffee and parsley on the nose. Red fruit dominates on the palate. Light and well balanced but ultimately not very complex. 87/100.

Flower #2

2009 Salomon Estate Syrah Viognier, Fleurieu Peninsula, South Australia - Aromas of dark fruit (blackberries, blueberries and dark cherries) with hints of caramel, white pepper, licorice and violets. Very lively. Wine has a delicious factor, supple and jammy with great length. 89/100.

One For The Homies

For a while now, I've been meaning to comment on the royal wedding: the Miro-esque hats, the horse-drawn carriage, the coats of arms pinned to Prince William's lapel, the makeout session, grandma Elizabeth, Lady Di's ghost let loose in Westminster Abbey, the white laced dress, the thousands of fans regaled by the pomposity. To be honest with you, I might have caught ten minutes of the entire affair only because The Wife, Ph.D., like many other women across the world, tuned in to vicariously live the fairy tale that was denied to her when she picked a paunchy, gassy couch potato as her forever after. But each time I started this post, that other white dress would appear before me like a specter, hugging her curves the way a light breeze covers one's bare body at the beach, and I would give up. Instead of being haunted by writer's block or outright laziness, I was being harassed by images of Pippa Middleton and the sole solution was to binge on dark chocolate Kit Kats until I was so nauseated all I could think about was nausea itself. I guess it does not help that her name is a lewd act in Greek.

In any case, that royal Friday we went out for some celebratory wine and pizza with The Wife, Ph.D., My Zolpidem Supplier, The Godmother and My Life Coach. Don't worry, I made sure to spill some wine on the ground in honor of Diana.

2008 Kim Crawford Marlborough Pinot Noir - Nose is dominated by raspberries, strawberries and cherries. To the mouth, it is really loaded with red fruit and some hints of white chocolate. Gulpable wine that matched the Neapolitan and vegetarian pizzas to perfection. 87/100.

2008 Makkas Shiraz - One of the up-and-coming producers in Cyprus. Hints of bread pudding (?!?), green peppers, vanilla, honey and red fruit. Short yet overall well done. 88/100.